The common question I get asked by my Americans friends is: Is there a time constraint to sue. That is the problem in America. We have lost the ability to hear the pain and shame of people who have endured the harassment. We, first and foremost reach for the almighty dollar as a weapon. I call it a weapon, because of how I hear it being used to solve problems. All our ability to use other professions is forgotten. The ability to listen to the victim by the instituitions is lost in the shuffle to start defending from the stance of monetary value. So I am going to begin by describing my perpetrators and their affects. The very first one was my college English 101 professor. It was my 101 Introduction to sexual harassment and the power control of the men and women in administrative positions thereafter. When I stood up to the professor, after no one from counseling to administrative was listening to me, the college went into battle mode against me. Fortunately for me, my mother went into battle mode as well. Unbeknownst to her the power player friend that she reached out to, happened to not only be the founder of a well known charitable organization but also a lawyer. He challenged the college about their accusations and their steps to resolve based on their own judiciary handbook. They were trapped by their own makings, so to speak, and they felt obliged to welcome me back. However, they took no steps to helping me resolve the trauma inflicted by their professor and their behaviour. The next man, was the Director of Asia Pacific Department at the Habitat for Humanity, International Headquarters. I was a volunteer and had returned to America, from India. I had spent five years in India after receiving my undergraduate degree. Now it was the turn of the founder of this organization who had come to my rescue ten years earlier. However, in this case he didn't step and help me now. Instead, he too went into cover mode for his male director from France. Ten years later the founder himself was ousted from Habitat for Humanity, International for numerous complaints of sexual harassment. The last complaint came from their own HR director, however the company and his followers went into battle mode. They were all fighting for either money or power and the victim was not only ignored but further harassed. I know this first hand, because my parents stepped in to help the Founders of this organization, however, in this case the victim was my friend and I knew their character. There were a couple more at this organization, but I now lead into the person who actually was my male friend.
While he wasn't in a powerful position over me, he held a lot of power in the town we resided in. He held the power of people knowing his family from being residents of this town. He was friends with people in the City Hall and The College President. The only reason I point out his sexual harassment, is to point out how several gay men have used their "gay" identity to speak freely in terms of sexuality to me, with the following defense: we have no interest in women, we are simply pointing out about female sexuality. Here is how he would point out sexuality. He would point out to me randomly how large my breasts were. He would talk about sex and rape to me in the context of how I should not fear it. However, he would go a step further and pout if there were other "heterosexual men" interested in me or me in them. When, I crossed the line in asking him if he was upset with me because he was interested in me, and I let him know that since we were friends for so long, I would talk to him about it. He went into identity battle mode. He talked about me as a white gay men known in this community to the judge : describing me as a terrorist. He flashed all my communication to the judge of letters that he "allegedly" destroyed indicating he had no part in it and it was all me. While on his work of business online page reviews were review after review warning me that he was known among people in the town for his sexual harassment behaviour. If I had to win my case against my friend, I would have to pay out big money to lawyers. So, instead I took it all in and internalized the situation.
My doctor informed me the night I emotionally collapsed, I lifted my shirt and asked them : if my breasts were large enough for all of them at the Emergency Room? So America, what are we talking about? Stop playing with money and fire and start addressing the "male" agendas, be it gay or straight. Stop reaching for your wallets to defend bad behaviour. Start looking at the civil war and what it stood for. Your men still want to be in control and control they still have over minority women. Why do you all still have it? I am residing in my college town that stands for the first non-segregated school, however, both the college and the town are run by White Men. The college staff is if I were to guess is 90 percent white. The people who run this town from sheriff to judge to police officers are white. Stop using "fad" movements to make political gain. Like human trafficking, women and gay community agendas and start looking at the reality of what you all are really doing. Let us explore: Let us stop practising the "Christian Nice Guy" theme. To be a Christian Nice Guy is the false teachings about who Jesus asks men to be, but it is what is preached from the pulpit! It makes men weak at the same time giving them false power.
Here is the important part to pay attention to if you pay attention to anything I have said here so far. When I say White: it is people who are used to power, not exposed to diversity and rule from their cultural norm. The citizens spot an outsider and use that power to abuse the system and to get what they want, be it man, woman, gay or lesbian they know the buzz- words and phrases to use. My friend used the buzz word: terrorist. He was referring to not him being terrorized but me terrorizing a friend of mine who had come to visit me, but had visited his coffee shop. The judge didn't bat an eye or question him or the D.A. as to why that was of relevance and how would he know such information if he and I were not on speaking terms. The other time this judge didn't question him, is when he gave the judge my office lease dates, which I wasn't even sure about myself. I informed the judge I wasn't aware of when my lease ended. The Judge never questioned his integrity. The phrases I hear from women in terms of defending this gay man and all gay men in this town: well he didn't mean it. He must be intrigued by your womanhood. Oh you felt he threatened you, well dont worry he really is just a big pussy (not aggregressive). This is the American power play and yet they complain if they are exposed to our culture in our countries. They preach from their pulpits about the evils of other religious ideologies and their attack on America. In actuality America has used their power card to put down other people's religious beliefs on protecting the woman. America when we say diversity, it means open your eyes, ears and minds to how other people worship and show reverence to the female gender. You will soon realize you really don't have the "superior" card in this game. America if your court houses and lawyers need money and worse still numbers to defend a case or cases of superiority be it gender or culture, then you have not been listening at the United Nations conferences, you have been too busy chastising other nations.