~Cattle farmer I met at Frost Cafe
I returned to the East Coast, shortly after my mother passed away in India. My spouse at the time had been given the opportunity to work for a government contract position in the IT Industry. He, my spouse an artist by true calling was feeling the burden of having to take up a desk job, and wanted me to explore getting a job in my field. I was too leary of heading out to try and acquire a social work position, even though I was in the heart of America's Political Belt: The Metro D.C area. I had come to experience this side of the coast, now as a consumer not a provider. This side of America did not have that same touch of freedom and generosity that Northern California seemed to hold for me. A year into our move there, I moved out of our married home, and moved to the heart of rural America, where I was well aware that this area was known as the Bible Belt. It is not hard to recognize that concept, with various church denominations only a few blocks or feet away from each other and with all the bickering about whether homosexuality is a sin or birther. Where drugs were a popular consumption, but where also the government provided drugs to wean people of the drugs.
I was ready, I thought, to venture because I was going to make it a short stay and head back West. However, that short stay became a long stay, thanks to my spouse who kept encouraging me to keep our daughter on the same coast as where he was. Here is when I began to create my own business venture. My town, specifically the college end of the town held that California air to it, just slightly. My venture was a dream I had back in California and that was to converge my global life afforded to me thanks to my parents from their days of traveling to several continents to live out their professional dream and us children being the beneficiaries of this luxury. I was going to converge my globalism with my professional career of social work. It has been a rough and tough tumble ride but the coast is getting clear. For now the work has morphed into blogging.
Blogging my personal life lessons. Two moral dilemmas I was faced with since marrying into the McKee -Day clan was homosexuality, religion and mental health. Everything was tossed at me all at once from the moment I said, "I do". You need to obey me, I am the man. You need to embrace homosexuality it is my brother's path and my past, and you need to understand God is a forgiving God, and he created some people to have sexual tendencies with the same sex. Those were a lot of conflicting ideologies to be washed in and hung out to dry by the clan when I could neither understand them, nor come to terms with with their belief systems. Nevertheless, I kept trying. I went to drag queens shows, I listened to their love interests, I took on battles from ex male lovers. I attended their churches and their family gatherings. I kept quiet about homosexuality, so that my spouse wouldn't have to feel the shame of his community and clan members. When my mind was crumbling from being a new wife from a different continent and upbringing, and being white washed with all these conflicting ideologies, I sought out professional and religious counseling. Some with my spouse and some on my own. I reached out for all the self help books. Nothing ever brought us any peace or put our marriage on the road to transformation.
Either of us would either be sent to sign up for religious programs through the churches, or were provided medication or counseled to be at odds with each other. This is how I view America's moral dilemma. Every program, whether through the government, charity, or religious institution is set up for capital gain. These programs have found talking points for people's pain and keep them coming back for their drug of choice. The medical industry has found billable labels for people's emotional pain. These labels are used to bill the pharmaceutical companies as well as the rehab companies. The churches have found programs that invite people in, affordable programs some, but then they get invited to join their membership. Or they are sold a ticket to heaven speech. Or they are sold the mental health is a sin speech. All these programs work in conjunction with one another, thus keeping the working industry alive. Meanwhile, the consumers get stuck with these medical and religious labels not knowing really when they can get of the "crazy ride". Ultimately they are also stuck with a lot of invoices they are left to figure out how to pay. I personally believe the two can get married as long as their is respect for the consumer. Respect in recognizing just because they are a consumer of mental health or religious services doesn't mean they don't have an ability to make healthy choices. Respect from religious organizations to recognize, just because consumers seek out memberships in your programs and places of worship, doesn't mean they don't have an internal gps system that can point them out to God, without being dependant on your leaders or your programs. Human beings need respect and freedom from capital and religious power hungry missions for this to work.